Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There r osticjed everywhere
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
