ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
