You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
