i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
