Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
