Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Randomize
