Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
