she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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