Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
operation have a gay friend backfired
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
