Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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