How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
