please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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