my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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