I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
