Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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