halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I deserve this hangover.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
