I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
