i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
