Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my shit smells like andre
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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