Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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