What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
