He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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