Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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