Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
