one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Even my vagina gasped.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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