its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
