Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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