Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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