week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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