She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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