fuck your aforementioned shoe
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
