woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
