yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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