end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
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