It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
