I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
