i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
two words...techno handjob
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
