actually, I'm a sock model
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
