I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
