No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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