she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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