You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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