Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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