The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
