u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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