I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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