He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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