Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
