dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
