I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
