literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
