I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
