well I can't set my house on fire every night
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
