I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
